“Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant ”

~Elie Weisel

They robbed me of my dignity & human rights when I reported my child sex assaults to the LAPD & when the ex FBI agent & Erika Hutchcraft exploited me, but I held up a mirror to them in return, so I won.

It’s holding up a mirror to Medusa and she shrieks and turns to stone when she sees herself. . . The beauty of truth is that its core is a mirror. My story is a mirror of them.

Talent as an artist & the truth are the same thing. It’s a mirror, a reflection of the truth.
Talent isn’t something you can steal, talent requires reflecting the purest form of truth.
That’s what separates great artists & writers & actors from the cheap imitations.
The people of the lie are incapable of reflecting the truth. The truth doesn’t exist in them, so they churn out cheap material, they steal ideas they don’t fully grasp & call it art & hope nobody notices.

Like when the book is so much better than the film version. It’s because the book writer was the truth teller and then someone in Hollywood tried to duplicate the truth into film but was unable to grasp the concept of truth. So they churn out a cheap imitation.

Can’t loot talent. It doesn’t work that way.

I’ve been doing a lot of recovery meetings & hanging out with sober friends who do a hybrid of AA, Smart Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Church, meditation, etc… The common denominator is that these people are willing to look at their mistakes & the way they’ve harmed others &/or fucked over people & are trying not to live their life like that ever again.
I realized that there are some people who have done such vile things that they will never be able to get sober because with a sober mind they’d have to clearly look at their behavior & actions & how the damage they caused permanently destroyed lives & robbed people of justice & happiness.
And there are some people who are stone cold sober & have a clear mind where they can rationalize all of the evil they’ve done & trauma they’ve caused others and be okay with it.
They’re human vacuums. They’re so broken inside that all they can do is consume. They don’t feel. They look at other humans as objects to be used for their own gain. There’s a lot of people like this in my story. Like my parents. They lived day to day on a steady supply of pills or alcohol in order to live with themselves.
They were unable to live sober lives because they’d have to truly look at the lives they led & harm they caused others.
There’s a lot of narcissists & parasites in my story, for sure, but with some of the people in my story, it’s something deeper than ego & parasitic narcissism.
They’re fundamentally evil.
They can rationalize anything they’ve done with a clear sober mind.
They’re the people of the lie.

I think my parents were fundamentally evil & human vacuums, which is why they did the things they did for so long. Their daily use of pills and alcohol was a way for them to feel good & made living with themselves easier, but I think even with a clear sober mind they were able to rationalize their evil behavior because they looked at other humans as devices for them to use for their own pleasure or gain. My mother & father enjoyed using people, they felt like they won when they exploited someone. But they’re not the only people like this in my story.

When the other people in my story were exploiting me, I didn’t see it when it was happening because it was normal behavior to me. Abuse & scapegoating & exploitation & gaslighting & degradation & lies were normal to me. I grew up with human vacuums so evil behavior was normal to me & I didn’t see any red flags.